Jul 18, 2000

I miss my cats!

Ok, so they are bigger than this now. How big, however, I will never know. I haven't seen them since April. I'm sure they've forgotten all about me. After all, they are just cats.

But Mikail and Micaela were a dear part of my life. I love them, I miss them, and I still cry when I think about how cruelly they were taken away from me. THIS IS WHY my mother never allowed us to have animals when we were young. Because their departure (be it death or the cruelty of a former friend) breaks your heart. I do not know whether I will allow pets in my household when I am a mother. I love them and what they say is true: Pets greatly reduce stress (and being a college student, that's an important thing!). Since my family moved in with my aunt in 1994, we finally had a pet - her dog, Cory. I refused to love that dog for many years....I did not want to become attached. But Cory is the sweetest, most obedient dog ever (he's a lhasa-poo) and since my return from Spain I have grown to love him as a member of my family.

And that is how I loved Mikail and Micaela. That is how I continue to love them. And that is why it hurts so much. Their departure hurts, but what hurts even more is the friend that I loved and trusted did this to me. Will I ever be able to forgive her? Christ would. I have to. But she tore at my heart terribly. It still bleeds. Will I ever be able to trust again? I pray in my heart that someday, somehow, I will.

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