Aug 27, 2000

Ok I don't care anymore! How many people really read this thing, anyway? It's more a semi-public journal than anything. I've never been a private person - I could care less if anyone even DID get a hold of my diaries and read them.

So why do I have such a problem sharing how I feel lately? I used to be the worst - just ask Jaime. I would share TOO much. But now I just do what I can, send "hints" and expect certain ppl (particularly men) to understand the underlying meaning in what I say. Come on, Michelle - you know better than that!

So anyway, we'll call him Adam (obviously NOT his real name). I haven't felt this way in years. The last time was with Miguel...and, well, I'm still afraid of being hurt. Can I possibly put myself out there again? Just by sharing my feelings scares me to death.

Adam is the most awesome guy. Ok, maybe by just saying THAT I'm giving it away - although it sounds generalized - he'd read it and understand exactly WHO I was talking about. But he IS. I've never met someone so, I mean, WOW. And I'm not even talking about how good-looking he is. And how sweet he is. And how respectful he is. And how smart, how talented, how humble, how he makes me laugh....it's how he makes me feel about myself. Just his friendship is more than enough - he amazes me and makes me feel like the worthy Daughter of God that I know deep down I must be, but that knowledge slipped away from me years ago in a time of pain. I'm trying to regain it.

I have known few people who have souls (spirits) that have truly been extraordinary. And I mean WOW - he is exactly that. I noticed it in Miguel...but Miguel, as much as I care for him, doesn't want to see that greatness in himself. Miguel has so much potential that he refuses to reach...but Adam, well, Adam already has reached a part of his greatness, and he knows who he is. He's assured in his self-worth, and wants to do God's will. To me, this is one of the most attractive things about him, about any man. If any man ever wants to know the way to my heart, it is this: please feed your spirits. Reach out for greatness - understand your potential and your great worth. You are Sons of God. Magnify your callings here in Earth - serve others, love others, and be humble. And most of all, be willing to help me realize this myself.

To me, THAT makes a man.

Aug 25, 2000

Ok, it's been awhile since I've written anything. I have been soo busy, it's not even funny! And school is starting in a little over a week, sooooo -anyway.

Wednesday I went to Great America - finally got to ride Raging Bull! It was fantastic - what a smooth ride! Too bad we went on it first, though - because the rest of the roller coasters were so bumpy and rough. We were spoiled off the bat.

It was great - I went with Joe, Shane, Kim, and then we also invited Heidi and Alice along. It was really fun getting to know Heidi and Alice better. I think we all had a blast - and that is what counts! We then went over to Joe's house in Racine (his family's) and I finally got to meet his sisters. It's been 8 years since I've been to that house, but it was cool seeing it, and recognizing it, and recognizing his dog and his mother:) His parents ordered us pizza (for us poor, starving, college students) and we sat on the porch and had a lot of fun. I don't think any of us wanted to return to Madison to work the next day!

Things are definitely better than they were at the beginning of the summer. I have a whole different set of friends now, but there's so many of them - it's great!

We officially gave our "fourth" roommate a key a week ago. Jeff now has a key to our apartment - hehe! That way we don't have to buzz him up every time he comes over:) He brought Trooper over yesterday and Jeff, Laura and I went for a long walk around the neighborhood. That felt good! I haven't done that in awhile. Jeff keeps offering to take me (or anyone else) skydiving. I so REALLY want to go, but it will cost me $165. I know I could come up with that after I get my financial aid check, but I have to pay some bills, plus I want to buy a CD player for my car and get a CD-RW for my computer. Soooo, that will have to wait. But I will DEFINITELY do it one of these days!

Well, I better get back to work. Busy Friday - lots of requests to handle and get processed so ppl can get to their web courses. I'll touch base later.

Aug 14, 2000

Hi, Sweetie!
I forgot about your blogger...but now I am back! This is almost like your journal! I can tell how your day is going.

Try to enjoy what summertime you have left!

Love,
Auntie C :)