Mar 27, 2003

Well today was an interesting day. I was cruising the web, again trying to do my best guesswork at where Reid could possibly be located right now, and how I could possibly get a letter to him. And lo and behold, he signs into MSN Messenger a little before I left my office for the day. He was only on for a minute, and I tried to talk to him...only two of my messages got through before he signed off. I don't know if it was actually him on the other end...and where he was. I know he was deployed, because I read about it on some news article on the web. He signed off before I was able to tell him to tell his platoon how grateful we are here for what they are doing. Ok, I have been kind of standing in both camps when it comes to this war, but the more and more we get into it the more I see the importance of supporting the troops. And whether the war is legal or not, whether it is sanctioned by the UN or not...none of that matters right now because we are IN it. It is stupid to be out there protesting's a waste of time and it's not going to bring our soldiers home anytime soon. So let's make sure we love, support, and honor our troops. Let's not treat them how the troops were treated when coming back from Vietnam. They need to know America is behind them. That is our job. To be united in that purpose, despite how we feel about the war itself.

Well I really really feel the need to speak with him. I just want to let the past stay in the past. It has been three months, and I am fine. I am happy. Yes, I'm single, but I am really happy about that. I just want him to come to terms with what happened and to let it stay in the past. But I truly cherish his friendship and really wish he felt the same. I especially want him to know how much I support him and wish I could do anything to help. But I can't. All I can do is sit here, in my comfortable and safe apartment, and pray and hope that he, too, will eventually come home to a a comfortable and safe home as well.

On another note, I'm well into my circuit training. It is very enjoyable. I actually find myself looking forward to my workout sessions every day. I really feel like for once I'm going to make a difference in my own life. I am so busy with the business and with my regular job, my callings at church, and of course my work outs, but they are the crux. They help me have the energy I need and I know eventually I will get to the point where the regular aches and pains of the day will be lessened. I don't just want to lose weight...I want to get toned. I want to start up on other sports. I've always wanted to skydive. I want to go camping, I want to go hiking...(no campers! I'm talking the real stuff). I want to see if I can develop the little I know about tennis. I'd love to get into more extreme sports. I want to be able to know I can handle anything that comes my way, and that my body will be an aid, not a hinderance. I've had far too many dreams about war or what-not where I am not capable of doing anything, even saving myself, because I lack the fitness and body strength to do it. Well yeah, these are just dreams (nightmares) but I think my subconscious is telling me to get on the ball. So I'm doing it and I am enjoying it. I do like the feeling of my muscles working, the sweat, the way I feel when I'm done!!! It's great! Now I see why people like this stuff so much!

Well, it's my Uncle's birthday, and also my friend Tony's. Happy Birthday guys! Dad's is coming up in 3 days.

I still haven't been paid by Mike. I don't know why he won't answer me or pay me what he owes me. I am really beginning to be annoyed. I really don't want to have to be a witch, but I can very well be if I have to. But that's only as a last resort. I still have faith in people and I hope this guy pays up what he owes, and that it's some other reason it's been so late. But I need that money to pay my tithing (ironically) and another bill, and if I don't get it I don't know what I am going to do.