Ok, so I decided today that I really, and I mean really, want to change my lifestyle. I might change gyms since my contract at Curves is up this month. I really like being with only women, and not worrying about mirrors or being self-conscious, and the aerobics/circuit training really does help, but I just need some more variety. I don't enjoy going to the gym -- I only feel good after I'm done with the workout. There has got to be something out there that I like to do while in the middle of it -- like skiing.

I don't know how I'm going to reach my goals, but my goal is to become as healthy as I can be. I know I've been blessed with a wonderful immune system and strong, dense bones. Never broke one of them. My cholesterol is low and my blood pressure is good. But...I know I need more exercise and I need to really work on my diet.

I don't overreat by any means, but I don't eat well. Yes, I have been doing better -- but eventually I want to be the kind of person who loves vegetables, someone who eats only whole grains and non-bleached flour products (and if I have time, I'd bake my own bread for my family). Someone who drinks plenty of water and not much soda at all, except maybe as a treat once in awhile...and then it would be diet. Someone who cooks regularly for her family and going "out" to eat is only for special occasions, or maybe a monthly family thing. I really want my children to grow up eating healthy, but I know it won't work unless I set an example.

I want to be the kind of person who wakes up at 6 AM and goes for a brisk walk every morning (I really don't think running will ever be my thing, but who knows). I want to do aerobic exercise at least 4 times a week. I want to do a lot of outdoorsy type activities with my family, like hiking and camping and the like. I always loved doing things like this when I lived in Utah -- the mountains there are breathtaking.

Ok, so I have said this before (about a year ago I think?) And you know what...over the past year I have improved. I didn't know it until Bahman complimented me. That makes me feel wonderful to know that I have made improvements physically. I just need to keep at it...slowly but surely...and eventually I will become this woman who I want to be.

Yet another reason I'm not ready to be a mother!

Anyway...these are my goals for my physical self. My mother taught me growing up that to be happy and healthy, I had to keep a good balance of the big "5", namely, spiritual, intellectual, physical, emotional, and social. I'm really good at focusing on one of the five and doing well, but getting all five balanced? It's no easy task, that's for sure.

I don't expect to be Supermom or Wonder Woman or Patty Perfect. I'm too much of a perfectionist as it is; I always have been, and I've seen first hand how dangerous it is to be as such. You have too high of expectations for yourself and for others, and then you are so utterly disappointed by both. I've done a really good job at letting go of the perfectionist attitude over the past two years (and trust me, it has been trés dificulte) but the serenity prayer, and knowing when to "let go and let God" really helped me overcome a lot of my perfectionist traits. That and, of course, recognizing myself and others as God sees us, and remembering that God does not make trash. Recognizing the beauty of the great plan of happiness...and in seeing the weaknesses and strengths and diversity that exists between all of us really is a reflection of the beauty of the Plan :)