I feel I must clarify something about my previous blog. The reason I mentioned 2 or 3 times that I didn't mean to sound arrogant is because.....I am not feeling arrogant whatsoever. I guess it might have come across as if I was bragging, or tempting my Father in Heaven to shower me with trials and heartache. I by no means meant this.
I guess it is just my way of putting on a brave face. To get through the trials in life, I have to find a source of strength and courage. I have found that in the gospel, and in the faith and the love my Father in Heaven and my Savior have for me. I meant what I said that I do not want an easy life, but I was not implying that the majority of people out there do have an easy life. I know better than that. I just meant that I did not want an easy life for me. Does this make sense? Perhaps not. I am not comparing myself to others. I do not think by any means I am more capable of handing things that others cannot; I simply believe that I am blessed with the knowledge, and the roadmap that can and will lead me in the right direction, to finding peace and strength, and yes, even joy, in adversity. Everyone is entitled to the same, and God freely offers it to all of his children. I am just very grateful that I have that roadmap (the gospel), and I recognize and have faith in the knowledge that our Father speaks to us individually in regards to our own lives. I think too few people recognize that they have that precious gift, just for the taking -- and I am so grateful that I have accepted it and I use it on a daily basis.
Will I cry in the future? Yes. Will I feel despair? Yes. Will I say things I regret? Unfortunately. Learning what I have doesn't make everything instantly better, or take away the pain. But it does help me to endure better, have faith and courage, and recognize the "silver lining" in all things, including those very things I have constantly murmured about in the past.
This is all that I meant. My source of strength comes from my knowledge and understanding, and my trust in the Lord. No, I do not want a life filled with constant sorrow and anguish, nor am I asking for that. But I don't want one that I just sail through, like school was for me. Life is meant to be more difficult, and I do hope I am tested to my capability, that is all. But of course I also want to experience periods of rest and of course, joy.