May 9, 2004

For Mother's Day I bought my Mom and Aunt Colleen a wireless router, so that they don't have to leave the main computer on all the time. Plus they can add a firewall for security measures and to prevent others from 'hopping' on their network. It will also give a much longer range. I took Mom out to the Macaroni Grill for lunch yesterday as well.

She spent the weekend cleaning Laurie's room (who consequently wasn't here). My Mom is weird sometimes. I took the opportunity to do a few things around the house that needed to be done. I put vertical blinds up over the main window in the living room, and it looks much better now. I tried to fix the screen (but still no luck). I assembled an etérgè for Laurie's bathroom, and fixed a few other odds and ends plus cleaned up around here, since no one else has been *sigh*.

You know, as every day goes by, I feel so much appreciation for my Heavenly Father and for Jesus Christ. I find my life changing; I actually feel more like a spiritual being than a human being, if that makes any sense. The bigger picture is easier for me to get a few glimpses at, and those seemingly "small" problems that one encounters on a daily basis just don't seem to carry such importance as they used to. Those kind of things would ruin my day before; but now I just shrug them off. I think back at how upset I got about Cindy breaking my blender -- well now I found that my best (and favorite) frying pan is missing. I didn't get mad though. I realize is has to be somewhere, or if she took it, she didn't mean to. It's no big deal, right?

Anyway, things make more sense to me. I'm eager to begin my new calling and to get set apart for it. I really love the Book of Mormon. I have read it a few times; not often enough, but now I will really have the opportunity to study it more in depth and really feel the spirit as I read and teach. I so look forward to that.

Heavenly Father has blessed me immeasurably. I know I'm depressed; I know that there are things I still need to work on. But Satan is winning less and less with me, and I know that is such a great achievement. There are still things that I wish would work themselves out; there are still things I do not understand. There are questions left unanswered, but I know that despite all this, I love my Father in Heaven. I will never deny Him, or the sacred, deeply special, personal revelations that He has shared with me. He has told me to trust in those very revelations; He has told me through blessings that this is how He talks to me, how He comforts me, how He guides me. My fears of misinterpretation; of insanity, of feeling "lost" have greatly subsided since my last blessing, in fact, they are almost non-existent. That was Satan's tactic, since his previous ones with me had failed. I know he will try something else, and I am prepared. I do not know what to expect, but I know that with Heavenly Father's love, and with the guidance of the Holy Ghost, I will succeed in overcoming anything.

No comments:

Post a Comment