Jul 25, 2004

We have a mourning dove who decided to make my flowerbox a nesting place for her two babies! I saw the dove sitting amongst my wave petunias, and then she flew away when I walked outside. I haven't noticed her earlier because I haven't had to go out and water my plants; we've been getting plenty of rain. Anyway, so I let Mookie out with me and started watering my plants, pruning them, etc and I saw the small nest and two white eggs!

Since them Laurie and I have done some research on mourning doves. It is so cool that we will be able to watch the babies hatch (if we are around) and the mother take care of them. I'm surprised she chose my flowerbox, considering there are three cats staring out the window all the time. But, I'll just have to keep the kitties off the porch until the babies are gone.

Tara moved most of her stuff in today. She can't move in until the 1st, because Cristina never can make up her mind about when she's moving out. So that means only one more week with Mookie. I can't believe how much I'm going to miss him. He's just such a cuddle bug (when he wants to be).

Well, not much else. Tomorrow my family is going to Noah's Ark (a waterpark) in Wisconsin Dells. I'm still getting over my cold so I will have to be sure to be careful in the sun and take it easy, but it will be nice seeing my brother and also spending time with the family and getting some sun:) I just wish it could have been today instead, but Kevin couldn't get off of work.

Well, not much else going on in my life. I have a big sense that my life is about to change, but I"m not sure how. I'm dissatifised with my job again, because I found out by looking up the new budget that I indeed AM the lowest paid person in my group. Plus, everyone has a laptop; and my boss promised me a laptop, but decided not to get me one. He just assumed I'd keep it at home or something. For cryin' out loud! First of all, assuming something like that without talking to me is just bad. Plus, I feel so taken advantage of. I am paid so little compared to my coworkers, and treated pretty unfairly when it comes to things like this. Don't get me wrong, I still know my job is a good one, but it's just hard, when I know what I'm doing is top-notch and our customers believe that too. I also know I'm indespensible. If I decided to just quit, what would they do?? There is no one there who can replace me. I'm not simply a graphic designer, or a web designer. I'm both...and I can also do code and lots of other stuff. Try and find THAT in another worker! I have 6 years experience too!

It just makes me mad. A lot of things in my life have been having that effect on me. I'm just sick of things going so crummily. Yeah, I'm doing what I can to change my attitude, but things are so confusing in my life, especially in my heart, and I'm trying my best, every day, to figure out just why Heavenly Father would put me through, or allow me to pass through, such a test as He is (concerning Jeremy). I mean, I wasn't getting any answers to my "why" or "what should I do", so I made up my own decision; decided to not be a "slothful servant", and I did what I could to move on. But, I still love Jeremy, in fact it seems to have only grown stronger, despite having feelings for another person as well. I just don't know what to do.

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