It is August 10th. It's the hottest month of the year, and I am wearing my warmest Gap fleece and STILL cold! It is only 53 degrees and on top of that it is windy! I feel like I'm in the middle of October. In fact, on my way to work this morning, as I was walking, a sense of dejâ vù came over me. The weather, the music I was listening to ("Remember When it Rained -- Josh Groban, of course), the way I felt about my life, etc...I felt like I was back on campus at BYU. I felt displaced then; and I feel displaced now. Oddly enough, though, I feel like I'm supposed to be on campus at BYU right now. I'm sure it's just a fleeting thought/feeling, but it is odd. I will admit, though, that my dislike for Utah has been greatly diminishing. Maybe that's because someday I'll end up back there, I don't know. Although, teaching in Utah doesn't sound great to me, considering their less-than-stellar education record, but hey, maybe that's why -- they need good teachers:) But, I don't want to go there alone. I really don't know how I can afford to go back to school, anyway. I'm not sure how to do any of this. It's quite confusing.
But anyway. I'm still missing Jeremy, of course. I can't help it; I have finally surrendered to the truth, I guess. I tried fighting it but I can't. The Adversary has tried all he can, too, to convince me to just give up and do as I please. But I find that my desires and the desires the Lord has for me are getting closer every day. I'm grateful for that, but at the same time, perplexed. I'm a little frightened, but I know I can't allow that to overcome me. I am stronger than that. I can follow the Lord's will for me, even if right now it's completely blindly. I have to have faith, and that's all there is to it.
Well, I guess I better get back to work. I feel so weird and out of sorts, and yeah, displaced. But anyway.