Sep 29, 2004

Audio Blogger

this is an audio post - click to play

Testing email blog client

I'm testing to see how emailing my blog works rather then going into
the WYSIWYG editor at Although, I must say, that makes blogging incredibly easy and it's free. I've been
using it for over 4 years now, and I love it!
"All learning is remembering." - Socrates


Well, we were without power for a day because of a mix up with the power company. I was home sick (really sick), and suddenly all the power went out. I saw a man in the back of our house, so I ran outside and I was like, "what did you do? Did you turn our power off?" He was so rude to me. He told me we were behind in our payments, and therefore they cut our electricity off.

I called the company very upset, wondering what was going on (since I just had made a payment about two days before). They had not even told us we were being disconnected. Well, despite me telling them that I had insulin in the fridge (Beau's and my roommate's) they said they couldn't guarantee that a guy could come back and turn the power on. I was so mad, because it takes a whole two seconds to flip that switch. But I had to pay $30 for reconnection.

I was upset, Laurie was angry, and Tara, well, I'm sure she was upset but she had a good attitude about it. We decided to use the time to take Tara out for dinner for her birthday, I went out and bought a bunch of candles and ice, and when we got home we put the food from the fridge (and the insulin) on ice, and lit all the candles. Tara and I had a good game of Scrabble.

You know, I was upset about not having my internet, but I realized that it was good for me to be away from the luxuries that I'm used to. It made me realize how much I take them for granted. It was also a good time to spend time together as friends, talk, and just plain enjoy our time together.

Sep 26, 2004

A quote

"The things we fear the most have already happened to us." - Deepak Chopra

Sep 25, 2004

Strength and perseverence

It is ironic how I know so much about psychology (from studying and also intuitively) and I know what's wrong with me almost immediately. Yet, despite all this, and despite knowing what i need to do to overcome those particular hurdles, I still find myself always fighting slipping into depression. I know it has a lot do with my genetic buildup but I also know the strength of one's spirit -- one's determination and will. I know I can overcome anything -- I have up to this point! I know some of what awaits me, and I know I will persevere through those trials too.

And I know I will overcome this one.

But, at the same time, I feel lost. I am trying so hard to remember all the things in my life that bring joy to my heart. Battling depression is not an easy task. Simply taking medications and recognizing your problem isn't even half the battle. When life throws you curveballs things just get out of control -- especially depression.

I think it's so difficult for me because somehow I'm not finding within what I need to find to bring myself out of it. I have the gospel of Jesus Christ, and that is the single most glorious thing, or rather knowledge, that I have! It brings more joy to me than anything. My family is included in that -- and without them I would be nothing. But I have found myself becoming a hermit almost. My two best friends that I had here in Madison now both live in other states. I love my ward, but I do not have real good friends there -- only acquaintances with whom I do spend some time, but -- it's not the same. I am a person of passion and spirit -- I am open and warm (once I feel I can trust someone) and I completely and totally give my entire heart to those few people who I feel deserve it. I am a person who prefers close friends over having a bunch of people who I could simply "hang out" with.

I have a few other friends not in the church, and I find they tend to be the best friends I have right now, too. Yet I know I'm a stick in the mud for them. I do not enjoy the things they enjoy. I guess I'm getting to the point where I don't even know what I enjoy!

On top of this all, I am so lonely. And I hate that feeling, because I hate having to depend on anyone else to make me whole. But this empty hole in my heart is always a reminder of what I lost. I get so lonely at times, like today, when I sit there and tell myself "just respond to the guy who is flirting with you." I tell myself that I'd rather be with someone than be so miserable alone. And I know I have plenty of opportunities...and some of those are really indeed good men who would (have) treat me well.

But being a good man isn't enough anymore. Being a good man who is Mormon and does his best to live the gospel isn't enough either! Even meeting the "requirements" on those silly lists that I have created isn't enough!


I know very well why. How can you fight something that is such a part of you, and always has been? Since the dawn of time? How can you fight truth that is staring you in the face and pounding incessantly in your heart? How can you fight the knowledge that your Father in Heaven has given you? The sacred revelations received in prayer and in the temple? How can I fight a love that I have never experienced, ever, in my entire life? How can I fight myself?

It is like fighting yourself. It is that constant struggle between good and evil -- it is the struggle of the soul that every person knows all too well -- it is like fighting the knowledge of your own existence.

I think, therefore I am.

I cannot deny my heart any more than I can deny knowing that I am. I cannot fight it any more than I know that God the Father is my Father, and that Christ atoned for me. I cannot fight it any more than I can fight knowing that I have a family here on earth who loves me.

And this is the connundrum of my heart. I can do all I can to lie to it, to try to cheat it, to try and kill that part inside of me -- I can deny it and pretend it doesn't exist. Oh, we as human beings do this all the time. Not only in love, but in almost every other aspect of life. The truth lies within us, yet we always are constantly struggling with that truth! We don't trust ourselves to know better. We listen to other people and trust them over ourselves, when, in fact, the closest we will get to the truth is that still small voice which comes from within...and this is the way that the Spirit does speak to us.

I will not live my life denying truth, no matter how much I may mistrust myself. My testimony of this gospel -- my testimony of all that I know, that I hold dear and true, came from that same place -- my heart. My heart does sing when I hear the truth come from others as well -- you know the feeling you get when you hear someone speak something so profound; something you have known to be true your entire life, but have mistrusted? Then you hear it again and again from others -- speaking from their hearts...this is why I love my church so much. What it teaches to be true is what I found to be true within myself.

And because I know all the most important truths in my life have come from within -- from the Spirit...I know that this battle I am fighting is pointless. I am fighting against truth, and I will never be happy if I continue doing so.

Yet, when it involves another human being, there is only so much I can do. I have fought it and questioned it time and time again, but I have also succombed to the truth. I know what I know. I keep trying to fight it even now...every day I battle my heart...but it only makes me weaker.

Why? Why do we do this? Why do I fight that knowledge? Because I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid that it will never come to pass, and sometimes, ignorance is indeed bliss. But Heavenly Father sees something greater in me than I saw in myself. He does not want me to live in ignorance.

Ignorance, fear, mistrust...these are all tools of the Adversary.

I now understand more fully the blessings I have received, telling me to trust myself. That, in itself, is one of the toughest battles we as human beings can endure. All of life's struggles really have to do with what is within -- external circumstances affecting our hearts, our minds, and our souls. The only way to overcome these challenges is to trust ourselves -- and to listen to that still small voice. We need to learn and grow, which we gain from external AND internal resevoirs. And fear needs to be conquered, and replaced with love.

I feel better now. Writing things out always helps me to better understand the turmoil inside of me. I am trying so hard -- but I know that while my progress is slow, I'm still moving along in the direction I am supposed to.

Yes, I am lonely. I long to be held in the arms of the man I love. I crave the opportunity to start a family. But I know that I am never alone.

Christ is with me, and so is My Father.

Sep 24, 2004

my other cam is going to be password protected too

Home camera

After my sister gets home, the userid and password for this camera will be the same as the other one.

username: webcam
password: my hero's last name

Password protected webcam

Well, I decided to password protect my webcam. So, if anyone wants to log in, they will have to know me enough to know the password. This way I can prevent just anybody from viewing my camera. It's kind of scary thinking weirdos might be out there looking at me.

So, here's the info:

userid: webcam
password: the last name of my hero (the man I most want to meet before he passes away). Don't capitalize it.

View my webcam

Sep 23, 2004

Someone is playing tricks on me

I pride myself in my technology skills; I'm quite adept at many things that few people know about. Yet, someone has found a way to trick me, and now I'm suddenly confused.

I like a little mystery, but this is just plain odd. I'm very intelligent; yet I can't figure it out! I hope the mystery is soon solved, because it is unnerving, to say the least.

Sep 22, 2004

An interesting Article

Here's an interesting article I got from a friend today (and yes, he was male!!) It certainly agrees with the point of view I've carried my entire life:)

"Blocking Emotions May Hurt, Not Help the Thinking Process"

Jason got his package!

It makes me so happy to know that I've made someone happy. Jason sent an email to my sister and I, thanking us for the package and telling us the cookies were delicious (but of course ;) He also said that they don't have a store there so the stuff we sent, plus the junk food, were really needed, and to keep sending more! Which, of course, I will do...and when Jessie gets over there I will send her stuff, too.

I love sending care packages. I really do. Jaime got a slew of them when we were dating and when we were just friends. I've never known anyone on a mission, but if I had, they would have gotten them, too. But now, at least, I can send stuff to Jason and later Jessie. That makes me happy! Also sending extra stuff for his friends is awesome, too.

Well, Laurie bought the Star Wars trilogy so I watched almost all three of the movies yesterday. Yeah, pretty lazy of me, but I haven't seen those movies in forever. I'm not exactly a Star Wars buff but remembering that these movies were made in teh 70s, I must admit that Lucas was ahead of his time. They barely look outdated now, and it's 2004. That's pretty awesome.

I have a chance to design a logo (work-related) for the Sakai project -- they are having a conference in New Orleans. If they like my logo, it will be on the website, printed material, and on t-shirts. So...I have been so busy with web development lately that I haven't had a chance to do much design work. Design gets me more excited about my work, so I'm looking forward to starting it.

In fact, I'll going to do that right now.

Sep 20, 2004

See me in Real-Time

Ok, this is kind of cool, although I don't know that I will enable it all the time, LOL. Having people watch me when I don't know it is kind of weird. BUT...because it's a new thing, I thought I'd try it out.

Click here to see me at work.
Click here to see what's going on at home.

If you get a "404 Page not Found", or it simply won't load that means that my camera is offline.

Sep 17, 2004

feeling better...

Well, despite what I've been told I should be doing, I am 28 years old and I never pulled my own credit report...until a few days ago. I was pleasantly surprised by the results. I did find a mistake and I'm in the process of getting that investigated, but my score is pretty high and much better than I expected. I have good credit! My total debt is a lot less than I thought it was, too. That gives me the much needed boost to continue with my goal of paying down my credit card debt (although the vast majority of it is student loans), and to work on increasing my savings account. I also started a stricter budget, and after figuring out my monthly bills, I was also pleasantly surprised to find that my spending money is a lot more than I had previously thought (for some reason I thought all my money went to bills!) Being smarter with that personal cash; using it to pay more on credit card balances, adding to savings, and spending less on stuff I don't need (like, ummm, clothes and shoes) will help me feel more secure.

A lot of people have asked me why I haven't bought a house yet. I know I'm throwing away money on rent, but I simply do not want any more debt, plus I know I am not going to settle in Madison. Sure, I could sell it easily if I decided to leave, but why go through the hassle? Besides, I know me, and then I'd spend much of my extra money on painting, and of course I'd want new furniture (a more classic look), etc and I just don't have the money to do that right now.

I was also considering a new car; a small SUV actually, because my monthly payments would be less and the interest rate would be too, but even though that might be a temporary solution to give me more cash up front, I realized that it would just increase my indebtedness. Plus, I love my car. Sure it doesn't drive as smoothly as the newer cars, but it is unique, it has a fun shape, it drives well, gets great gas mileage, and it just matches my personality. I love my car -- I just wish I could get the spedometer fixed for less than $400!

But anyway, I'm glad I pulled my credit report. I feel much better about myself and the strides I have made since I lived in Spain and had all those problems with my credit. I'm more mature, wiser, and learning more about how to handle money. I'm not the greatest, but I'm getting better, and I'm grateful that I overcame my fear and got my report. It will help me find solutions to decrease my indebtedness.

Sep 14, 2004

A quote from Richard G. Scott

"To continue to suffer for sins when there has been proper repentance and forgiveness of the Lord is prompted by the master of deceit. Lucifer will encourage you to continue to relive the details of past mistakes, knowing that such thoughts can hamper your progress. Thus he attempts to tie strings to the mind and body so that he can manipulate you like a puppet to discourage personal achievement."

(Richard G. Scott, "The Path to Peace and Joy," Ensign, Nov. 2000, 26)

Sep 12, 2004

Following with exactness

Well, today was an interesting day. I taught my lesson on the 2000 stripling warriors, Helaman's army, whom he lovingly referred to as his sons....those who miraculously, during two wars with the Lamanites, did not lose one soldier. They were all wounded, but not one was slain. I have been reading these accounts of war in the entire book of Alma (and really, the entire Book of Mormon) and I must say, I am deeply moved by the faith of those Nephites, and Captain Moroni, who was obviously a passionate, feisty man of God, who took their liberty and their country very seriously. These men were willing to die for their country, and Captain Moroni mentioned time and time again that he equated their liberty with God.

And this made sense to me. It also reminded me not to take what I have for granted. It also explained why I feel the chills, or the Spirit, everytime I hear Lee Greenwood sing "God Bless the USA". Today was no different. On our way home from the cookout with my Dad and his brother's family, that song came on my iPod and that same feeling washed over me. Especially the part.."and I will stand up; next to you, and defend her still today". The people of Ammon were willing to do the same thing with the Nephites, but Helaman told them not to break their covenant of not bearing arms against their brethren. So instead, they sent out 2000 of their young sons, who were more than willing to stand for their country. And every one of them were "steadfast and undaunted", and followed their prophet and captain of their army, Helaman, with exactness. and this they did because they knew the testimonies of their mothers and did not doubt them.

How amazing is that! Their mothers obviously were also "steadfast and undaunted", and they must have been absolutely amazing women to bring up their children to be such faithful and honorable young men! Women like these are relatively uncommon in our day, but it is my goal to be a woman, and a mother like those mothers of the armies of Helman. President Spencer W. Kimball said;

“To be a righteous woman during the winding-up scenes on this earth, before the Second Coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home—which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [1982], 326–27).

Motherhood is obviously the most noble calling a woman can have. So many people just don't realize how important it is; and being a good mother is not simply watching after the needs of one's children, but raising them to have good values, strong standards, and testimonies of their God. No, we cannot force our children to be who we want them to be, but we have a much stronger influence upon them than most people realize. I am humbled at the prospect of ever becoming a mother, yet my desire is great. I know that I will be a mother such as these.

I felt inspired today and a message entered my head, and I was prompted to say it to my class. I never even thought about it, but what I said was smiliar to this: "It is vitally important for us to recognize the great influence we have on each other, and especially our children. For those of us who are not married yet (and that is most of us), we need to be sure that we have a testimony of this gospel before we even consider marriage. Because after the marriage, it is almost too late. Life happens; and then suddenly children enter our world, and if we are still sitting on that fence, not sure where our beliefs lie, not able to follow our prophet with exactness and gain a testimony of those things that right now seem to contradict our social or political beliefs, but which are taught by our prophet, how will we ever be able to raise faithful children unto God? We are Zion's army; born in the latter days, and just as our prophets have told us, it is no accident that we have been saved for these turbulent and perilous times. We are fighting a war against Satan and his followers, and things are only going to get tougher. It is essential that our children are raised knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt just what their parents believe, and to see the example and testimony of those parents and to see them following the prophet "with exactness"."

And this is true. Children even at an early age can sense the strength and resiliency in their parents or caretakers. True, we often put our parents on a pedestal and believe they can do no wrong until that one day something happens and we realize our parents are just as human as the rest of us. But...children watch their parents more than they watch anyone else; and they develop their own set of beliefs, values, and attitudes based on what they saw growing up. This is why so many people are screwed up today -- because of lousy parenting! I'm not saying that those children who came from bad families are not responsible for their actions, because they are, but the scripture that talks about the sins of the children being brought upon their fathers is very true. Bad parenting can seriously traumatize a young soul -- and scar him or her forever. That presents an extra challenge for that individual to grow up and stop the cycle -- to be the kind of parent he or she may not have had. We can all be like those sad souls on Jerry Springer who blame their parents for everything in their life that goes wrong, or we can be strong and we can take responsibility for ourselves, and realize that life has handed us a few lemons -- but now it's time to make lemonade! I like the story that Bryn shared in her talk today about the plan of Salvation and overcoming personal tragedy. She mentioned the art piece that portrays Jacob wrestling with the Angel.

Do we all know this story? Jacob was on his way to confront his brother Esau, and he happened upon an angel who was his perfect match. He was already greatly distressed because he feared Esau, and feared Esau smiting him. He wrestled all night with this angel, but he could not prevail. At the break of dawn, the angel finally wounds him in his thigh, and then says, "Jacob, let me go." Jacob then says, "no, not until you give me a blessing." It was then that Jacob received the new name; Israel, and was blessed. The next day when he finally came upon Esau, they embraced and wept.

The moral of the story? Sometimes our trials and tragedies are perfect matches for us. It seems that we will not prevail; that we are wrestling all night with no hopes of ever succeeding in overcoming them. But we have the right to demand a blessing; a blessing of peace and a blessing for help. God knows us better than we know ourselves, and he will never give us a trial that we cannot overcome. Unfortunately, so many people do not have the faith in themselves nor in their God to withstand, or prevail, and they give up. By doing so they are denying the greatest gift of all; the Atonement, which is Christ's gift to all of us that we may one day reach exaltation. Who are we to think we cannot get through something, or overcome something? God knows us. He knows our "perfect matches", and we will be tried and tested. He will allow Satan to tempt us. That's the whole point. But if we look deep down within, and find that strength -- we will see that we are indeed a perfect match for this particular trial, and that we CAN overcome it; and we don't have to do it alone. We can ask for blessings. We can pray for God to "lead us, guide us, and walk beside us -- to help us find our way". We can remind ourselves that we are Children of God!

Ok, I know I'm going all over the place in my blog tonight, but good English structure doesn't mean much to me tonight. I just love how everything that seems so different and unconnected suddenly connects -- and that is what happened tonight.

So going back to my description of my day, I went to my Uncle Joe's house and enjoyed an afternoon with family I don't see often. I love my Dad. I know he loves us. He has a kind yet passionate heart, and I know that I have that within myself as well.

But on our way back, just after listening to "God Bless the USA", and making all these connections in my head, and feeling gratitude for all that I have been blessed with, and knowing how I would stand to defend my country with all my heart and soul, just as Captain Moroni, my mother calls my sister and shares some news.

My cousin Jessica is being sent to Iraq.

Jessica is in the National Guard, and was in the middle of switching units because she was starting school in Milwaukee. They also eliminated her job, something in communications.

But now that her unit has been called up, they are not letting her switch. And because her job has been eliminated, they have informed her that she will be in the infantry.

Jessica is being brave and is not scared. She is upset that her unit change didn't go through and now it is too late; because she had just started her civilian life. But I know Jessica, and I know she, like Jason, has the same resoluteness, courage, and passion. I know she will serve her country well.

Do I like the idea of yet another one of my family members being over there? No, I do not. But I do know what they are fighting for; the liberty of a nation, so that they can enjoy their God-given right of agency (even if they don't know how at this moment) -- and even, in part, they are fighting for our liberty. I do not agree with many of the things that have happened over the past 2 years, but I also know that I value my liberty immensely, and I know that it is equated with God. Just as Captain Moroni said. There is no point in hashing over the would haves and could haves and the rights and wrongs of the reasoning for going into war. What is done is done. But pulling out now, unfortunately, would be a grave mistake; and while I want our soldiers to come home now, and to not have any more innocent blood spilled on either side, and I especially don't want my family being over there, I recognize that right now, at the very least, they are fighting for something good; even if it is only in their hearts. They are standing for the freedom and liberty of all who inhabit this earth. Freedom, again, is a God-given right, and I truly believe that everyone has that right to live in a country that is not reigned with terror and bloodshed.

I love Jason and Jessica. I am proud of them. They are "standing up, next to you, and defending her still the same". I am in awe of our soldiers over there, and all of our veterans from previous wars. War is an ugly thing; and I know I don't even know the half of it, but I know that I am grateful that I DO NOT know all about it; and the reason I don't is because of people like Jason and Jessica, Jess's friend Jeremy, Jeremy Young, and all the others who have, are, or will serve. They are valiant and strong, and I hope they recognize that the hell and the horrors that they experienced while at war are indeed for something.

Something that is inalienable. Something that is God-given. And that is liberty. And with that liberty, we are able to practice our religions as we wish; and we are able to follow our prophet.

Sep 11, 2004

Snorkel Butt?!?!?!

Well, I had fun today, without it even being planned. Jess came and was originally going to go to the Badger game with Laurie, but we ended up hanging out and going shopping. And man did we shop! We went shopping at West Towne mall, and then we went downtown after the game to meet up with Jeff. It ended up being watching him play a beanbag tournament :) Then we went to East Towne and shopped so more. I ended up debating buying some of those pink pom pom boots with the shearling inside. They were much more fashionable than your traditional Ugg boots, and they were heaven on my feet, but I kept thinking...when will I wear them?? They are pink suede with pink shearling....they obviously won't match everything I own (especially my winter stuff). But the idea of walking to work in my usual shoe doesn't appeal to me, either...not during the winter. I guess I can go back for them later if they are still available. But I did buy a few accessories to go with some of my new fall clothes.

When Jess was our roommate, we would sometimes order Outback Steakhouse's cheese fries, bring them home, sit on the floor and watch TV as we ate them. For tradition's sake we did it again, yet now the three of us have such stomach aches:) Well I guess that will happen when you eat junk food. But they were really yummy:)

Tomorrow after church my sister and I are going to go visit my father. My sister suggested it two days ago, to my great surprise. She's usually not one to suggest such a thing, but she did. We are finally going to be able to bring him his Christmas present, even though it's closer to this Christmas than it is to last Christmas! I know his VCR broke on him, so I believe he'll love his new DVD player:) But since it's been sitting in our garage all this time, my sister and I better test it out and make sure it still works.

Well, I'm watching Trading Spaces and I have to begin my lesson soon, so..ciao.

Sep 8, 2004

Some things don't change, some things do

Well, Keith is moving to Iowa City on Friday. A few of us went out to Cold Stone tonight to say goodbye to him. He has been such an amazing friend, confidant, and home teacher, and I am really going to miss him. I am happy for him though; he's moving to a place where the cost of living is so much cheaper than Madison, but he's also getting paid more. He is a Civil Engineer. But...there are few people who I am really comfortable talking to, and he's one of them. Now who can I trust to give me priesthood blessings?

And things that don't change...well, my heart. I am still completely and totally in love with Mr. Young. I've gotten to the point, I think (at least for now; I know how I sometimes regress into past patterns and/or behaviors) where I can almost cheerfully get through my day and not think so much about how much I love him and miss him, but it is always in the back of my mind and heart, even when I'm preoccupied with the other things that life brings. I don't know, but I can handle it.

I can handle anything.

Miau Part II

Well, everyone said they couldn't hear Beau on the "Miau" track, so I took the sound byte into Peak, normalized it, and re-imported it into GarageBand. I actually had to then turn his meow down so the rest of the song could be heard;)

Anyway, here's Miau Part II

Sep 7, 2004

Iraq bound

Well, my sister and I had some fun today shopping for Jason and his buddies. I baked some of my famous chocolate chip cookies (well, my sister and I baked them) and sealed those up for shipment. My secret ingredient allows the cookies to remain soft, which means they will be quite cake-like when he gets them:) We then went out and bought some hard candies, a misting fan, lip balm, individually wrapped towelettes, bandanas, gum, etc....lots of fun things. I'm sure he can get some of them where he is, but at least this way he doesn't have to pay for any of it if any of these items are duplicates. We also got a few of each item, so that he can share with a few of his closest buddies as well:)

We then went to the gym and decided to play tennis on the roof top gardens. It was a crisp, clear night...perfect weather for working up a sweat:) My sister had this thing with hitting the ball too high, and I had this thing with not being able to backhand the ball properly. We both, however, managed to hit a ball over the netting and all the way onto the ground! Well, we need practice in volleying and the like, LOL.

Hmm, what else? Nothing much is going on in my life at this moment. I'm looking into some teaching programs but most don't start until next fall. I still am trying to make up my mind concerning what I want to teach, or if there is something specific I'm supposed to teach.

My mom and my Aunt Maureen both ended up in the hospital this labor day weekend. My Mom was visiting my aunt and uncle in Alexandria and she was on her way downstairs to bed, and she fell down the stairs. Her leg is in an entire leg cast and she sprained her knee, and seemingly tore some ligaments as well. Poor thing. Instead of getting help that night, though, she just crawled to the couch to sleep. She didn't go to the hospital until she and Auntie C were in WAUSAU -- so this is like what, 15 to 20 hours later? Silly mother. But at least she went and got the cast. She's out of work for the week because of it, and of course she can't drive, because her new car is a manual and it was her left leg she hurt.

My Aunt Maureen was in the hospital last week because of really severe back pain, and they let her out, but she had a reactino to her pain meds so she's back there as they try to find a good combination of medicine. My brother went to visit her today and she really is in a lot of pain. I worry about her. I love her so much; she has always been there for me my entire life, and the last thing I want is for her to be in pain. I think she and Uncle Mike should move back to Wisconsin so my Mom and my Aunt Colleen can take care of them when they get ill. They do have a beautiful home, very cottage-like, on a lake up in Alex, but they are just so far away from any relatives (except my brother).

You know, I'm really glad Tara moved in. We were roommates, the three of us, three years ago for a year. It's been nice having her back, and talking to her about stuff, playing card games like Rat Killer and Phase 10, or watching silly movies. I also recognize that Cristina and I get along much better when we are not living together. Our friendship seems to have strengthened since she moved out, so perhaps that was indeed the best thing to happen. I worry about her still, but she is going back to church and people are beginning to see that the divorce isn't really her fault. Of course, this is because her soon-to-be ex-husband decided to get up during Sunday School one day and tell everyone what he had done. I'm not sure what posessed him to do that, but, at the very least, people now know that Cristina isn't the one who broke her covenants.

Well, it's almost 12:30. I better get to bed. Maybe my week will be a bit more interesting and i'lll have more to write about:) We'll see!

Sep 4, 2004


Well, for work I had to create some introduction stingers for some video that we are producing. I used Apple's GarageBand, which came with both of my computers (so I have it at home too), and while I knew it would be easy considering I took that 1 hr workshop back in June, I didn't know it would be this easy.

Anyway, I came home and had some fun with it. I mixed the tracks and loops, added three lines of vocals (Laurie, Beau (yes, my cat!) and me. I call it "Miau".

It's only half a MB big, so feel free to download it. It's a zipped .mp3.


Here's another one that I did on my own (no vocals).
Interstate 94

Sep 2, 2004

No down time, horray!

It looks like there was no down time:) Well, everything is moved to my new site. I had to do a quick-n-dirty version of my homepage, but I'm going to be changing that soon, as well.

Anyway, not much to say. I'm watching the RNC..I have to say that I'm extremely impressed by the speeches I have heard this week. Really impressed.

Sep 1, 2004

My new site

Well, as I said, this site might go down for a day or two. In the meantime, my new site is located at:

In a day or two, my regular address,, will point to that site. My blogger address will also be the same:

My site might be down for awhile

I am switching hosting companies, and there may be some down time (probably no more than 2 days). My current hosting agreement has expired, and since it is more expensive and offers so much less space (I'm always maxing out the alloted space) I switched to not only a more reliable company, but one that offers me 1000 MB of space for a cheaper monthly price.

So far my site hasn't been "down" yet. But it probably will be shortly. No worries; I will be back soon:)