Happy New Year

Well it's 2005. All I can say is I'm so glad that 2004 is over. So very glad.

So, I got my hair cut this weekend. Cut and colored twice, actually. Now it's about 4 inches shorter, but the cut is more evened out and I have some great chunky highlights. April did it and she did a great job. I haven't been to a real stylist in years, but since she's in my ward, and she does such an excellent job with Laurie's hair, well, I decided to try. I was happy that I did.

I can't say much because it's already past midnight and I'm only halfway through my lesson. I've been very contemplative tonight and not been able to focus. I've been so busy lately..with what...I can't honestly say (other than being gone every weekend for the past 6 weeks!) but for the most part, I'm grateful that my life isn't a complete humdrum.

I have a stack of books I still have yet to read. 7 to be exact. I've read most of one of them, and am halfway through two others, and have 3 I haven't even started yet. I used to be such an avid reader but I just haven't had much time to do it lately.

I want to buy a Jeep. A fully loaded Jeep Liberty. After the snow and ice storms we have been having this winter, I am so sick and tired of driving my really light car. I couldn't even get it out of the garage last Thursday because of the snow. Plus the Firehawk GTA's suck -- they have since I purchased the car. Truth be told, though, as much as I'd love a v6 4x4, I just don't want to get into anymore debt. I've been doing well at paying things off, lowering interest rates, and raising my credit score. It's pretty dang good now that I got those errors fixed! I'm proud of myself and many of the things I'm achieving. But I digress. As for my car..well, I think I will just have to shell out the $350 and get some decent all-season tires (I just can't afford separate winter tires). I'm sure a good pair of Falkens or Kumhos would do the job. I've been researching and reading reviews and both of these have good reviews from owners -- and they are less than $100 each. So I will probably stop in by Sears one of these days and get the tires. Now that my warranty has expired, that new-car itch seems to be coming over me. But I realize that I don't need to constantly have new and exciting things. I have realized that during my most depressive states, I tend to go shopping. Some people overeat, some people turn to alcohol or drugs...I go shopping, and it's not a good thing. I realized that after the purchase, however small (I rarely make big purchases but this past year has been full of several that I can think of, and I'm not too proud of that) doesn't fill that empty void. Temporarily I find joy in playing with my PDA or new phone, or maximizing the use of my computer, or buying a good pair of pants, or whatever. True, I always get amazing deals and I'm a great bargain hunter. But it doesn't make any difference...I still need to stop shopping. I know it's not an addiction quite yet, because I still window shop more than anything, and think and think about the purchase until I can't stand it any longer (I'm by no means a compulsive shopper) but I still know that the money could be better used in paying off debt, savings, or whatever. And it's certainly not buying me happiness! So why do I continue to shop??

I guess I need a hobby. Shopping has always been one of my favorite things to do -- especially around Christmastime. I'm notorious for my gifts...even if I don't have much money I find a way to give a thoughtful gift. This year, because they were smaller, I made up for it by wrapping them in beautiful boxes and glittering ribbons. I do believe in presentation. But, now the shopping-for-someone-else season is over, and I'm back to looking for winter boots, a new jacket (it's not like I don't already have half a dozen jackets!), computer add-ons, etc. Ok so I probably do need the boots (walking through the snow in high heels is NOT a good idea) but as for everything else -- NO.

But anyway...I decided on a hobby I wanted to begin with. I want to start with amateur professional photography. However, to get the low-end SLR digital camera, I would need at least $700 (and that is after several hours of research and finding the best price --retail is still at $1000) and that includes the lense. I would have to get the memory, case, printer, and additional lenses as my expertise grows. While everyone tells me it is a good investment, I still refuse to charge something that I do not need (that costs that much) to my credit card. Yet, my current hobby of shopping is probably costing me more than anything, and the camera would eventually pay for itself (especially if I got any good). *Sigh*. I'm holding off for now, but in the meantime, when I get bored or depressed, I still find myself driving to the mall or to Target or something. Yes, I usually come home empty handed, but still.

Now it's almost 1. I better get back to the lesson.