I will share it soon.
However, what I did accomplish turned out to be an open letter to someone specific. It is in fact secured and accessible only to them if they so happen to eventually read this. That person knows who they are, and will know the username and password after reading the clues below.
Username: Your former middle name
Password: The word you shouted one too many times while viewing a certain comedy act last year. :)
Please note that it will probably ask you to type this information in twice.
The parable of the stove.
As for the rest of you...patience. I will try to work on it this weekend!