Speechless

Wow, the last thing I expected was a comment from Reid. It is ironic, because I was just talking to Gilly at that moment and we were remembering that fateful New Year's Eve two years ago when it all came down. Suddenly I decided to go check my weblog and there was a comment from that very same man.

I am very grateful for his sincere apologies and thoughtful comments. It touched my heart to know that he felt remorse, yet at the same time I suddenly wished he hadn't needed to go through that cycle. I know how painful remorse can be. But...I do hope he knows that I am grateful for having known him and even for going through that bitter experience, because he is a good guy, and I think he helped me not only get myself over Jaime, but also prepared me for the much greater trial that was to come a year later.

I do not believe at all that our lives are directed by fate or are simply a vast combination of coincidences -- I believe there is a reason for everything that happens. I believe God works with our decisions, wehther they be correct or not, and tries to guide us down the best path we can go from there. Dependent upon our life's decisions, those roads may be more painful than if we had made correct decisions to begin with, but He always loves us and wants us to succeed in returning home to Him and in becoming the best we can be.

On another note...I am still overwhelmed with the positive energy and peace I have felt since writing "The Parable of the Stove" (see entry from last week). It is amazing what an eternal perspective can do to help relieve you of stress, pain, and despair. It also definitely makes trials easier to deal with!

I know I haven't made the parable public yet, and I realize that it would possibly be beneficial to all if I do so. I will, but there are a few things that need to happen before I can do so. I will make it public, though.

On still another note, I am feeling good physically. I have lost weight since the inception of my latest endeavor, and I love the feeling of knowing I can do this. I haven't kept up with the gallon of water a day thing lately, but I am proud to say I still find myself craving my Caffeine Free Diet Cokes a lot less than before, too. I still drink more water than anything. I know this is good, and a very healthy change for my body. But I still gotta work on getting to the gym at least three times a week...and so far I have failed on this part. But I'm determined, and I'll do it.

I'm looking forward to the next few weeks, because I should be hearing from that university sometime within that timeframe about this position as a study abroad coordinator. I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve...I've never been this excited about a job before. Yet, knowing that getting this job (and accepting it after careful prayer and consideration) will finally get me on the path that I have been wanting to be on and have been told to wait to be on. I realize Heavenly Father might still have other plans for me, or He might let me decide for myself about this job rather than strongly confirming that it is the correct decision. But I think He will, because that is how I have been feeling ever since I saw it online and have applied.

I guess we'll see!! But no matter what happens, even if I end up staying here in Madison, I know I will be doing what I am supposed to do.