Aug 31, 2005

It's a Wonderful Life

I know, I haven't written much lately, but between work, doing stuff for Bahman's company, and of course being happy, well, I just haven't had much time! :)

I went with Jess to Vince Vaughn's Wild Wild West Comedy show last weekend, which was pretty cool. Life is so much sweeter when the hurt has disappeared and you're left enjoying your life, glad that you've learned the things you needed to learn from your past and grateful to have moved on. Life is sweeter when you begin to recognize what worth lies within each of your friendships, and how much joy there is to be found in laughter, closeness, and trust. I love you guys....I really do!

So I signed up for a semester class that starts in two weeks....latin dancing (specifically salsa). They say no partner required, so we'll see how that goes:) I'm really excited about learning something new, and I'm excited that I've come out of my shell and I actually want to do more with my life than merely hang on by a thread. I know Milton has helped with this part -- and I am so grateful for that! The last three months have been wonderful -- and the things I am learning and the person I am becoming, well, sometimes I get all choked up just thinking about how grateful I am. They say hindsight is 20/20, and I truly believe it is. Gosh, I'm rambling, aren't I? LOL I can't help it; when I feel all giddy like this I DO just ramble on..and on...and on...:-)

Well, I have to create and send of another motif, so I better get going on that. But I thought I'd post something and just say how utterly happy I am.

Life really sucks sometimes, and I know I have plenty of sucky days in my future. But it's alright, because one thing I have learned over the past year and a half is to be grateful for trials, and even for heartache. I am the one who decides what they do to me -- not vice versa. And by using what I've learned to become a better person, rather than become bitter, faithless, and empty, I'm better equipped for the future, and better able to recognize where true beauty and joy lies.

Aug 26, 2005

The Broken Heart by Elder Bruce Hafen

"Whether we descend into the dark night of our own soul through transgression, unwise choices, natural opposition, the invitation of God, or some mixture of causes, the crucial issue is whether we can in that experience yield our broken hearts contritely to God. This willingness to sacrifice all things must reach broadly and deeply enough to include the sacrifice of our sins, our vanity, our self-esteem, and our love of worldy comforts. Sometimes we must also sacrifice our determination to understand to our rational satisfaction why we should be lost in the darkness. When the light of the Savior's atoning power finally pierces that darkness, compensating for our bitterness and carrying us up to the cycle to reconciliation and re-unity with God, the blessing of understanding will finally be ours, one result of "arriving where we started and knowing the place for the first time." (The Broken heart p. 59)

La vida increíble

Bueno, decidí yo que sería mejor si pratico el español para que lo puedo hablar mejor...todos que me conocen recuerdan un epoco cuando hablé el cristiano bien fluido como una española (bueno casí). Soy miembra de la sociedad honorable nacional de la lengua española, y recibí este honor porque mis notas fueron superiores en casí cada clase de español (lengua, cultura y literatura) que sigué. Es lamentable que ahora no lo puedo hablar tan bien, y hago demasiados errores gramáticas y ortográficas. Anoteís bien mis amigos hispano-hablantes -- necesito vuestra ayuda con esa meta de mejorar mis habilidades :D Así que ahora escucha a la música latina que me disfrutaba tanto antes de mi perdida de interés en todo latino...y Milton me ha introducido a una nueva génera de música latina -- la reggaetón. Porque me gusta bailar tanto (especialmente a la música hip-hop) no me soprendió que me cae muy bien esa tipa de música.

Pero sigo con la meta de también aprender bailar la tengo mucho confianza porque estoy bastante tímida con mis caderas...pero si Díos me bendicío con esas caderas tan buenas, debo utilizarlas por algo :D

Aug 11, 2005

Quote: The Call for Courage

Gems from the Teachings of Church Leaders
President Thomas S. Monson on Decisions

"Life's journey is not traveled on a freeway devoid of obstacles, pitfalls, and snares. Rather, it is a pathway marked by forks and turnings. Decisions are constantly before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed: the courage to say, 'No,' the courage to say, 'Yes,' Decisions do determine destiny. The call for courage comes constantly to each of us. It has ever been so, and so shall it ever be."

( "The Call for Courage," Ensign, May 2004, 54-55)

Aug 7, 2005

past and future

Ok, so here's a photo of me back in 96 when I was on the phen-fen. Besides the puffed up lip (this was shortly after my white-water rafting accident), I want to look like THAT again. Ok, I'd do my hair differently too, lol. But I want that tan and that figure. And I'm getting closer to that goal, but THIS time, without the use of drugs.

I'm sooooo excited! I think I could look 20 again...why not?? ;)

Aug 4, 2005

Yes, I'm posting this poem yet again

I love this poem. I remember finding it in one of the Especially for Mormons anthologies many years ago. It hits home every time I read it.

Love's Risk

There is a risk involved in everything
Every time you share a smile
Every time you shed a tear
You are opening yourself up to hurt.

Some people tread slowly through life,
Avoiding the closeness risk brings,
Side-stepping the things they can't understand
Turning away from those who care too much-
Those who care too long,
Those who hold too tightly.

There is never an easy way to love
You can not approach it cautiously
It will not wait for you to arm yourself.
It does not care if you turn away
It is everywhere, it is everything.

Love is the greatest of all risks.
It is not reliable, it is not cautious,
It is not sympathetic
It is unprejudiced and merciless.
It strikes the strongest of mind,
And brings them to their knees in one blow.

Even in the best of times, love hurts.
It hurts to need, it hurts to belong,
It hurts to be the other part of someone else,
Without either of your consent.
But, from the moment it overtakes you,
It hurts worse to be all alone.

The risk of love never depletes;
It grows stronger and more dangerous with time.
But, it's in the total surrender of all defense,
That we, no matter weak or strong,
No matter willing or captive,
No matter what, we truly experience love.

Despite the many things love is not,
Outweighing it all are the things that love is.
Love is surrender without a loss.
It is a gift without the cost.
It consumes your every thought & desire,
Every breath you take.
It is the fire that fuels you
To do more than pass through life;
It urges you, instead, to live.

No matter the outcome, having felt love,
You will never be the same.
It may scar your heart & soul
And leave you only memories of forever.
Or, it may cause every day of your life
To feel like there is no need for tomorrow.
But, love is worth it. It is worth the risk...
For in all of life,
Love is truly the only risk worth taking.