Sep 28, 2005

I'm getting really stressed out

...and I wish certain PEOPLE would TRUST me for once in my damn life! Just because I've been diagosed with clinical depression does NOT mean my feelings are automatically worth invalidation, or that I'm going to be stupid and do stupid THINGS. Just BECAUSE my past relationships didn't work out, doesen't mean I'm incapable of finding good men! HeLLO, except for my sister who's marrying the first guy she's been in love with, for the rest of us, it's INEVITABLE that all relationships WILL end on a sour note until you find that ONE...and that's if you're LUCKY. So does that mean we should go around living life afraid of heartache? NO. We have to take that risk, and it really is one of the few risks actually WORTH taking in life.

I'm a grown woman; in fact I'm the oldest of all of us. I have a lot of experiences, trial, and immense heartache under my belt. I know what's right and wrong. So STOP trying to SAVE ME FROM MYSELF.

Thank you. And have a good day.

Bearing one another's burdens

"Everywhere there are [people] who are in the middle of their own stories, facing dangers and hardships. . . . There will be 'angels round about you, to bear you up' (D&C 84:88). They will sustain us as we carry our earthly burdens. Often in our lives, those angels are the people around us, the people who love us, those who allow themselves to be instruments in the Lord's hands. President Spencer W. Kimball said: 'God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom' ("There is Purpose in Life," New Era, Sept. 1974, 5)."

Sep 12, 2005

I'm going to Florida at the end of the month

Yup, we finally set a date to meet :) I'm going to meet Milton in Tampa at the end of the month, and I just bought the tickets late last night. I'm soo excited, because I've been talking to him for almost 4 months now, and as I've gotten to know him, I've found myself more and more impatient to meet him ;) He's a hottie -- I've never in my life been this attracted to a man, and although it's a little disconcerting considering that we haven't met yet, I just have a really good feeling that upon meeting, everything will fall into place. Not that I expect things to work smoothly and without snags, (and I actually kinda hope it doesn't go that easily -- because anything WORTH it isn't easy) but this just feels right, you know? Milt and I have so much in common and some of the experiences in our life have such parallels, that I cannot help but wonder about those "coincidences". But anyway, I've had flip-flops in my stomach all day, and I'm not leaving for another three weeks yet :)

The past few weekends have been a BLAST. I've had so much fun with Jess..meeting her man Bryan (who is absolutely hilarious and a really, REALLY great guy) and just being myself for the first time in a LONG, long time. This weekend Laurie and Olvia came up from Indiana, because yesterday we all went to David's bridal to try on bridesmaid dresses. We (Laurie, Olvia, Jess, Gilly and I) then went out to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner (along with Vicky, Jessica Thiex and Brooke) and we just had such a great time! Jess was so gracious, lol, on Sat night she gave us all pedicures and manicures. Who else would touch or feet except someone who loved us?? What a great time we indeed had.

Well this Thursday I have my first salsa lesson and I'm looking forward to that, too :) Olvia taught me a little on Friday night, but I haven't gotten the feet movements quite down yet (at least in sync with the music). I felt like I had two left feet -- when did this happen? I had always been a good dancer *sigh*. Oh well, I'm sure it will come back soon, especially after some practice!

Well, it's late, and I've only gotten 4 hours of sleep the last two nights in a row, and I have a meeting at 10 am sharp tomorrow, so I better get to sleep. Hasta pronto.