Feb 4, 2006


No, nothing spectacular has happened; in fact, things have been getting steadily worse in my life, but I am still here to say that life itself is still wonderful :)

While I've missed several days of work due to severe neck and back pain, I am seeing a Physical Therapist who is helping me in ways I've never been helped before.

A new 8-week salsa class starts soon, and since it's focused primarily on salsa and not on all latin dance, I'm looking forward to it. I'm excited about this new hobby of mine and excited to see the progress I have made so far.

I am also seeing a Psychologist to help me learn how to get better control of my emotions, so that I don't have emotional breakdowns or "episodes" as frequently. For those of you who know me, I am very loving, very open, and very tender-hearted. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I don't play "the game" very well, because to me, human relationships are far too precious to be playing games with. However, I also have realized that despite my belief in that fact, I do know that my concern, love, and my outbursts concern people who love me, and can be very burdensome, and sometimes I say things out of pure love or concern that end up only hurting people. While this has gotten less and less frequent over the past 11 years since the problem was first brought to my attention, I still have a ways to go. But I'm slowly but surely learning the proper manner of dealing with such....and I'm grateful for that.

I'm grateful for trials; for heartache, for pain and for strife. It sucks to go through it; and sometimes you get to the point where you don't want to go on anymore. But when I get to that point, I remember to count my blessings, I remember everything I have, the people who love me. It is the adversity in our life that refines us and makes us better people. Without knowing darkness, we would never be able to appreciate light. I've also learned that happiness is a CONSCIOUS DECISION. I'm learning that it's up to ME, not anyone else, to make me happy:)

And so that is my choice. To be grateful, to be humble, and to be happy. And for the most part, it is working:)

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